July 20, 2010

Dear Bethel Boy …..

Posted in Faith, Family at 10:38 pm by Stacy

We are really struggling right now, you and I.   These struggles haven’t been as pronounced with us so it’s a little shocking.   I know it’s not the first time that we’ve struggled and it won’t be the last time as we haven’t even hit the teen years yet (after all, you are just 8).   But I just want you to know how much my mother’s heart hurts and is burdened for you.

You see my son, you and I have a lot in common.   We are both first borns.   We have that need to take responsiblity and charge of those around us.   Your dad and sister don’t get it because they are the babies of the family.  Not only are we a lot alike that way, but as you are struggling now I’m seeing the issues that I’ve dealt with (or that are continuing to deal with).  When it all comes down to it, it’s basic sin, yet I can’t help but wonder if it is my fault that you are dealing with it.

Lying will never get you anywhere my son.  Take it from me as I’ve been the master lie teller.  It’s been only the last few years that I have found some freedom over that sin, but I will tell you when I get into “hot water” it is the first thing that I want to do.  It will not give you the relief that you think it will.   You will get tangled up in trying to remember who you told what to and I hope you realize soon that it just isn’t worth it.  I tell you this because wouldn’t it be much easier to get this under control at 8 rather than 38 like your dear ol’ mom?  So make the choice to be more like your dad.  He is the most trustworthy person I know.  He is truthful, even if it will get him into trouble or might cause the other person a little bit of hurt.

I see you trying to do anything, even make compromises in order to have friends.   Don’t you realize how fun you are to be around?  You have a great sense of humor and a great sense of adventure.   Do you have any idea how imaginative you are?   Oh my I think you have more imagination than one person needs, but all that makes you exactly who God created you to be.   Just be that person that you are.  If people like you great, if not, their loss.   Again, I know how hard that is.   I remember this time when I was around your age.   We had just moved and on the school bus all the kids were saying bad words.   I thought in order to fit in that I needed to say and act that way.  I so desperately wanted to be liked.   So I cussed, and cussed and cussed.   Guess who found out?   Someone told on me and Grandma had to have a talk with me about it.  I remember being very embarrassed and now looking back, I realize just how far I went to be accepted.

That acceptance lesson is one that I’ve only just came to grips with in the last few years (again, a reason why I want to help you learn it now).   Honestly the only way to truly be accepted is to know Jesus Christ and serve Him with your whole life.   He’s the only one that can fulfill that need in your life.  For me it’s been one of those lessons I’ve had to learn over and over again.

Most importantly I want you to know how much I love you.  You hold such a special place in my heart, one that no one ever can have – You are my first born, the one who made me a mother.

As we go through this rough patch, where it might seem like I’m riding your behind all the time, we will get through it.   We will see the other side with God’s grace.  You won’t always be in this “boot camp” of discipline.

Just remember how much I love you.  Know that you might not always feel that love, but it is there, it won’t go away.  Hold tight to the knowledge that the truth is I love you as only a mother can.   You are always the child of my heart.  The one I waited so long for.  The one I dreamed about.


Your Momma


1 Comment »

  1. Joy Ellis said,

    Oh my. You basically described my son when he was that age. He is now 17. All will be fine, just keep leaning on God and praying. We still have some issues, but he is learning and your son will too.

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